When our mothers express their love – Gloria’s goosebump moment
Gloria: “Hello, I am from Nigeria. My goosebump moment was the first and only time my mum told me in plain language that she missed me. She told me “I miss you”. It was so touching because, in this part of our world, it is hard to get our parents of the older generation to express their emotions to you in plain text. They either express their emotions to you through an act of service or through a gift. That is the way we know them to express their emotions. I had returned home from school after a long time and my mum came running, hugged me tight and told me that she missed me. It was so touching, because I had told her before that day that I missed her, and she told me to face my studies that I had no business missing them and returning home because I missed them. It was really touching.”
Emotions in the family
Family is a true school. Ideally, you learn to express love, affection, fear, joy, sadness and appreciation. It is this social circle, especially parents, that is in charge of guiding children’s emotions. The world of emotions, feelings and affections are as important as reason and must be taught at the same time.
The world of feelings is the thermometer that measures people’s happiness. This usually consists of having emotions of well-being, tranquility and affection. Feelings are necessary to develop any type of activity, to achieve the desired objectives and even more so, to find happiness.
The need for parental affection
Although parents are always busy and stressed, if they want their children to be healthy and happy, the ideal is to dedicate their attention to them on a daily basis. That attention means focusing on them and giving them a significant dose of love and affection. Children need to feel that they are loved.
Parental affection has a positive impact on the entire life of the children. This type of affection has also been linked to higher self-esteem, better academic performance, better communication between parent and child, and fewer behavioral and psychological problems. This is supported by several investigations that highlight the direct relationship between the affection received in childhood with health, happiness in the future of children and their success.
How to convey affection to our children
Hug your baby: from the first moment a mother or father holds their child in their arms, they should try to convey their affection. You have to hold him in your arms and caress him so that his skin feels our skin. Forget all that advice about getting used to your arms. Children need to feel our love from day one and even if they don’t understand what we say to them, let’s start expressing it.
Quality moments when the child grows up: When the child grows up, they need to continue to feel our unconditional affection. A good idea is to spend some time every day doing a fun activity like dancing or some silly fun game. If you are tired, maybe reading a story adapted to his age is a good idea. Try to find about 20 minutes at the end of the day, and let it be exclusively for them. Giving them our full attention and listening.
Adolescence: Our children need to feel our affection even in adolescence when they already avoid any physical contact. Before going to school, when they get home and before going to bed we can give them a good hug. Tell them that you are the one who need that hug, surely they will not resist. Even when we scold them for something they have done wrong, we can put our hand on their shoulder so they know that we always love them. You need to tell them, “Even though I don’t agree with what you’ve done, I love you. That doesn’t change anything. We are unconditional and you have to feel it now more than ever.”
More about parents expressing their emotions:
- Expressing emotion is good for your family
- Should you hide negative emotions from children?
- 4 big emotions to talk about with little kids